DOES YOUR DOG OWN YOU?

Robbie my Boxer and me!
Partnership, not ownership

 A common concern of my client’s is that their dog is guarding/owning them. This is a serious situation that should be addressed and resolved right away. 

Unwanted guarding or ownership of a person by a dog is a symptom of a much bigger issue – lack of leadership. This occurs when the human has inadvertently relinquished (or never was) the pack leader. 

Some people may at first, find this type of behaviour cute or be proud their dog’s ‘ownership/guarding’ behaviour. The problem is, if you do not know how to control the behaviour the result can be traumatic for both dog and human. When a dog is being protective of you it is not the same as owning you.

To help you better understand the dangers inherent in allowing your dog to ‘own’ you, I am going to provide a real life example below. This happened to some one I know in an animal discussion group that I participate in. 

The other group member posted the following:
I have had a French Poodle, pitch black, of high pedigree. He was very possessive over me, nobody could pass me or come close, either animal or person. I also had another Maltese x Poodle at the time, who I was I was very fond off. One day I tried to pick the Maltese x Poodle up for a bath and French Poodle turned around attacking me, but I still think it was because he was jealous and did not like the idea that I took noticed of my other dog. I landed in hospital and when I came out I was told that my French Poodle has been taken to the Vet and put down. I will never forget the grief – and even though it is more that 10 years ago, I sometimes still feel sadness for him.

This person still has dogs, as do many others in the group – the need to understand and avoid this situation in the future was of concern to all. They asked my advice on how to avoid and or treat this situation should any one by currently dealing with it, or encounter this type of behaviour in the future. 

When working with clients I always start by explaining the psychology of a situation. Having a clear understanding of the root causes, effects and outcomes of behaviour is vital to understanding the solution and preventing the development of the same situation in the future.

 

PART ONE – Understanding the Psychology of the Situation

This dog was dominating and owning it’s human. To teach personal space boundaries you have to show them by ‘owning’ space. By moving into the space he occupies, you take the space back from him. If your reaction to him being in your personal space has always been for you to withdraw from the space (even fractionally) you have not taught him. If your reaction has always been to allow your dog to remain in your personal, close space and own you, you have enabled the behaviour.

Human jealousy exemplifies itself in many forms – an insecure partner will often jealously dominate and own their spouse. If you used this specific instance/description of jealousy you would be – pretty close – to describing what was going on between yourself and your dog. Your dog is owning you and your space.

Most people do not realize what is happening, and think that the dog is simply being protective or even cute. This is not protective – it is ownership of the human exemplified by dominating behaviour. When a dog is being protective of you it is not the same as ‘owning’ you.

The mistake most people unknowingly/unintentionally make is in not understanding the true root of the behaviour. 

Ownership/dominating behaviour is not the issue – it is a symptom of the issue. The issue (the root cause) is that the dog is taking the leadership role, not the human. Most dogs do not want to be leaders – there are very few dogs born to lead. Most dogs prefer to have structure, rules, boundaries & a leader to coach & mentor them.

If the human asserts and/or reasserts themselves as leader, (on all symptoms, not just this one) immediately disagrees (in the right way) with the dog’s behaviour each and every time it occurs the behaviour will stop. 

Left unchecked the dog will continue to take over, their behaviour will escalate and eventually it is likely that the dog will attack – either another dog or a human.

This type of behaviour and its potentially dangerous outcome is completely avoidable.

This dog was not a bad dog, it just hadn’t been told the right way at the right time not to ‘own’ its human. The dog did not have a Pack Leader. In the absence of proper coaching and mentoring, rules and boundaries – the dog made its own rules.

 

PART TWO – Understanding the Psychology of How to Deliver Corrective Direction to your Dog

First and foremost you must emotionally disengage. You cannot be a Pack Leader when you are emotional. Instead engage your ‘leadership working’ mode. Remember that you must lead by example.

Never, ever try to correct your dog when your mind and energy is aggressive, angry, frustrated etc. Why? A) Because at best you are being hypocritical – your state of being is no better than your dogs. Your dog will know this and not listen to you. B) Worst case scenario – you can evoke the ire of your dog and be the cause of aggression.
To engage your ‘leadership working’ mode you must first attain a balanced state-of-being: a) be calm – no excess emotion, no tension, no fear, no frustration; b) be confident; c) be patient; d) be persistent – dogs are often persistent, so you must be even more so; e) your will to succeed must be stronger than your dog’s will to succeed!

So to sum this up – be 100% committed to calm, confident, patient, persistence = have a stronger will than your dog – never give-in, never let any of this behaviour pass without disagreeing, correcting, directing & following through.

And lastly, remember never, ever match your dogs unbalanced state – your state must be the polar opposite. But you do need to match the intensity of your dog’s energy. Mild, gentle but firm mentoring for low intensity behaviour, more intense but calm-confident firm mentoring for more intense behaviour.

 

PART THREE – How to Prevent ‘Ownership’

Directions to dogs should always be provide in three parts – get their attention, disagree if you do not like what they are doing and follow through by showing them what to do instead.

I run into this situation often with my clients. I teach my clients how to instantaneously disagree – I train them to be the pack leader, and show them how to coach and mentor their dog.

So, should this ‘ownership’ situation ever happen between you and your dog…
1) Never, ever let it pass without notice and correction.
2) Catch the behaviour as early on in its development as you can – open your ‘spidy’ senses and if you feel that the behaviour (ownership, domination) is present in even a small amount, address it right away.
3) Then immediately review other aspects of your human-dog relationship and ensure that you are the Leader, if you find gaps step up your leadership.

It is really important to catch this behaviour as early on as you can:
First and foremost, because it indicates that you need to ramp-up your leadership position. Your leadership skills may already be very solid but just need a little more attention when it comes to your dog trying to own you, or it may indicate that your overall performance as leader needs a review and boost. 

If the behaviour is in the EARLY stages of development, you can use the techniques I provide below to address and correct this behaviour. 

If the behaviour has become ‘well-ingrained’ and has escalated to a more intense degree, unless you have experience with this kind of thing you need to engage professional help. Do not attempt the techniques provided below you. Engage a professional – but make sure that the professional you engage really understands the psychology of the situation.

To assess the professionals ability to properly address this situation ask the person how they intend to resolve the issue. If they say that they will use tools such as (e-collars, pinch collars, treats, etc) as their primary method of intervention, this person is not the one you want to engage. If they say that they will use a combination of methods – human & dog psychology first and foremost you are on the right track. They should ask you questions that indicate to you that they understand that this type of behaviour does not exist in isolation – it is only one symptom of a bigger issue – lack of leadership.

Remember, it is always easier to correct an issue/behaviour in its early stages than when it is fully and completely ingrained and escalated. Never ignore or avoid – address early.

So if your dog is the early stages of developing this ‘ownership’ (dominating) behaviour… 

When the behaviour happens…
1) Get your dogs attention – you can quickly calmly (without emotion), firmly touch them (at the side of their neck, waist), snap your fingers, say ‘hey’ (make sure your tone is calm, low, clear and strong), etc – what ever you find works to get their attention;
2) Tell them ‘no’ (same tone of voice as above) and back the dog out of your space (walk into the space they occupy or use your body by just leaning in or toward the dog, or use your hand/arm to point them away. The technique you choose just depends on what works well for you and your dog;
3) Follow through, make sure your dog stays out of your private space. If your dog moves back in to your personal space, just back him out – be more persistent and committed than he is – this is a psychological test of wills – your will to succeed must be stronger than your dog’s.
4) Then tell your dog what you want it to do (i.e. sit, lie down or leave the space and go elsewhere, etc.)
5) Once you have accomplished this – sit back and access your leadership – is the gap just over this behaviour or is the gap in your leadership deeper. If your leadership is not prevalent enough in other ways take immediate measures to strengthen it ASAP.



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Notes:

Please note - this article is for information purposes and is not a substitute for an in-person Session with me. When working with dogs I use many techniques - it is important to note that this article may touch on one or several techniques but not all. I select the technique that I use for a particular dog based on my observations of the dog and an intuitive, instinctive assessment of that dog's and its human's individual requirements. For example when I am working with a dog that is hyper sensitive and very physically reactive I will not use voice or touch. I use a lot of therapeutic touch on some dogs, others require the use of herding techniques and so on. Each and every technique must be combined with:

• an understanding of the real intelligence, sensitivity and capability of dogs;
• an understanding of how to read a dog's face and a dog's overall body language;
• an understanding of the full spectrum of ways that humans communicate and dogs communicate; 
• understanding and recognition of the individual that is each dog - no two dogs are the same...taking a 'cookie cutter' approach to techniques is not the way to work with a dog;
• a complete recognition and understanding of all the elements that feed a behaviour and create an issue:
•  the vast majority of people can only identify one or two elements...which vastly inhibits the ability to resolve behavior issues;
• behaviours do not exist in isolation - there are always many elements that feed a single behaviour, there all always multiple behaviours that create a behavioral issue;
• self-restraint and discipline on the part of the human who is directing the dog;
• sensitivity, awareness, intuition, instinct and timing on the part of the human who is directing the dog;
• to understand, connect with and adapt quickly and effectively to a dog's learning requirements you must be able to employ the same tools a dog uses - acute sensitivity, awareness, instinct, intuition and timing;
• kindness, endurance, consideration, patience, persistence, perspective, the ability and know how to let the past go, the ability to set realistic expectations at any one point in time;
• the creation of structure, rules, boundaries and limitations for each situation at the macro and micro level;
• understanding of all the elements that make up an instruction and direction to a dog...there are multiple steps involved in an instruction - not just one!
• absolute honesty - if you cannot be honest with yourself you will not be able to communicate clearly with a dog.

These are just some of the techniques that I teach my clients - it is a holistic, all-encompassing approach. If you are missing any one element of the above mentioned your success rate will be affected to one degree or another in implementing the techniques offered in the article presented above.