Dog Behaviour – How to Get Your Dog to Let Go of Something (ball, bone, sock, etc.)

So the first concept you need to understand is…

If you enter a situation with an attitude that embodies ire, tension and/or forcefulness most humans are not going to want to comply with what you want, unless of course you threaten them with a weapon – the same is so for a dog. 

If you go in to the situation expecting to have an argument – particularly with a dog, you will in most cases get that argument.

Dogs are more perceptive communicators than most people. A dog does know what you are thinking, what you are feeling – usually before you are aware of your thought. …I prove this every time I work with a client and their dog. Are you skeptical? Well many of my clients are at first, but very quickly after the initial shock of realization, they understand just how perceptive their dog really is.  

The angrier, more frustrated, more irritated you are - as you advance toward the dog the greater likelihood that the dog will move to evade you. Look at it in a way that is relative to yourself - if someone advances towards you in such a manner are you likely to stick around or leave? If you do stick around you are going to prepare yourself for a fight. So either way the situation is not supportive of a respectful outcome.

The more physical force you use to pull the item out of the dog’s mouth the more the dog is likely to:

• Clamp his/her bite tighter around the object;
• Attempt to put more of the object in his/her mouth;
• Put greater force into trying to tug the object away from you.

A perfect example – today while on an off-leash walk (with my Boxer Robbie and my GSD x Husky Sarah), Sarah found a small, sharp avian bone, with some flesh and blood still on it. Likely just dropped by a hawk or owl in mid-flight. Now I did not particularly want Sarah to have that bone as it was broken and sharp – it could cause some injury to her innards if she swallowed It. Most people would:

• Panic;  
• Move in to the area (that the dog is occupying) with great agitation;
• Yell in an agitated (emotional) fashion and otherwise become ‘reactive’. 

Sarah is the type of dog that very few humans could control – she spent part of her first year of life as a stray and then spent three months in a pound (shelter). No one adopted her because she was ‘hyper’, ‘dominating’. This young lady ended up on the ‘kill’ list. Anyway after ending up pulled by the rescue I was fostering for, she made her way through several foster homes and one adoptive family…each time being returned for her unruly behaviour…before I took her in.  Sarah can be the Denis-the-Menace of dogs, her nick name could easily be ‘Wile-E-Coyote’ . This was a dog that would never in a million years surrender anything to anybody. Mind you, I think you have to give her credit…her wiliness allowed her to survive on the streets as a stray youngster. 

Well, when I saw Sarah about to pick up that bone, all I had to do was:

• Get her attention (I was about 10 feet away from her) so I vocalized ‘uh’ in a calm, solid tone, at which point she looked at me;
• I held her gaze and indicated to her to ‘leave it’;
• I then calmly walked up, with a smile in my heart and spirit and picked the bone up;
• That was it - end-of;
• Sarah willingly accepted the situation and happily bounced on.
• If instead I had walked up to her with the thought in my head 'you are a bad dog, you are not going to let that go, etc. I would have created the opposite reaction.

I have earned the right to take over a situation (such as the one described above) with Sarah and my other dogs because I have earned their respect. Last week in almost the same spot on the trail, Robbie my Boxer found a fresh, wild turkey wing-bone, with wing and feathers attached…part of a coyote or wolf’s meal – the meal having been disturbed by something or someone! Robbie is another one of my dog’s who had a difficult past. When I first met Robbie he would have attacked a person who tried to take anything from him. And when I say attack I really mean attack. 

Robbie was aggro-reactive (or if you prefer ‘red-zone’) on a scale of 1 to 10, he was a 15.  

As I approached Robbie and his wild turkey 'prize'  I did not feel or project anger, dominance etc. when he picked up the fresh wild turkey wing/bone. I simply walked up to him with my calm, grounded  presence and quietly but firmly put my hand around the part of the bone which was sticking out of his mouth (with foot long feathers attached) and proceeded to do as follows…

If your dog has an edge of the item sticking out of his/her mouth:

• Gently but firmly place your hand on the part of the item that is sticking out (depending on the situation you can also use your foot instead of your hand);
• Don't pull on the item as by doing so you will have just provided the impetuous for an argument in the form of a tug-of-war…remember if you ask for an argument you will get an argument;
• Instead simply take-ownership of that portion of the item by keeping a firm - (but not tense-tight) hold on it;
• Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth in a consciously relaxed and deliberate manner. Don’t allow your mouth to compress into a closed, hard line – if you do you are tense;
• Still yourself physically and be calm in mind - be patient and breathe again;
• Now slowly, quietly, calmly, move your hand to take over a little more of the object – your hand should end-up where the object meets your dog’s mouth;
• Now, no pulling - just calm, firm hold;
• If your dog starts to pull, just retain your hold and still yourself – do not pull back;
• Hold your ground quietly without a word…
• Most humans, unless they are trained to be, have very little patience - where as dogs have a lot of patience. If you do this exercise with:
• Self-disciplined patience and calm:
• While holding your ground for however many seconds it takes while keeping a calm-non-argumentative hold (with both mind and hand);
• While deliberately, consciously breathing;
• Your dog will surrender the object to you.
• This is simply a test of wills - if you can't exceed your dog’s patience you will lose.
• And keep-in-mind, while 30 or 60 seconds may feel like forever to you (because we are impatient as a species) it is, in-fact merely seconds.
• Again - it is a situation where one of you must back down (your dog or yourself). This is a psychological situation as much if not more than a physical situation.
• When used properly, psychological control with calm, slight physical pressure is so much more powerful than physical force – it is also a more safe approach for all involved – which is why it is a method used by dogs themselves. 

If your dog tries to engage in an argument by tugging - keep your hold and still yourself - to gain his respect you have to show him - what you really want - if you move like he is, if you tug and pull he will not respect you as you are then not directing but instead engaging in his argument. 

What do you really want? For your dog to

• Stop – well you must stop first…stop tugging, stop moving about;
• Let go – he won’t let go if you start tugging, he will tug just as you are doing.

Leading by example, leading without hypocrisy demands that you must be that thing first that you want the other being to be.

The point is to let him know in the most quiet but directive of ways (as noted above) that this is the way it is going to be.

This is how a well balanced dog will take over an object from another dog. The method of choice used by such dogs is not intrusive physical force which would result in injury and death. Instead, dogs prefer to use more subtle physically restrained, psychologically powerful means. The Alpha 'thing' is a false concept. In truth dogs prefer leadership – which is not the same as the ‘Alpha’ concept as most people understand the term.

By establishing and adhering to your own self-restraint and self discipline, in body and mind in order to adopt and maintain a quite, non-vocal, calm patience coupled with a firm but non-tense hold - you become a respectful, directive presence. 

This is dog language employes as a well balanced dog would choose to communicate in a non-aggressive manner to another dog in order to claim space or an on object without a fight.

This is a very respectful and psychologically powerful method that requires no physical force, but instead a grounded, self-restrained  presence.

When doing this exercise:

• Make sure you are completely emotionally neutral;
• To firm-up the direction you must make sure that your physical presence is completely aligned with your mental focus. 

As an example -  the thought in your mind would go something like this:

• 'OK, give it up Robbie - inevitably one of us has to surrender and it will not be me';

The attitude with which you say this to yourself must be without ire, without arrogance or frustration - just deliberately grounded, calm.

The method as described above when used to reclaim an object from your dog,  respects the natural way of a dog.

If you take a dog:

• That has learned to back people off by using dominating and aggro-reactive tactics;
• And put that dog in a situation where the human handling/directing the dog, employs force-based tactics:
• You  have nothing new to teach the dog;
• You will not engender the dog’s respect; 
• You may try to dominate the dog using force but that will only further destabilize the dog.

If instead you offer treats in exchange for the object, the dog will:

• Always expect to get a treat for doing something that he should not be doing;
• Learn that an ‘altered state of normal’ is normal;
• Never learn to behave respectfully;
• Never learns to adopt a threshold;
• Never learns to ask permission to take things;
• And, what do you do if you are somewhere, you do not have treats, your dog grabs something and if you don’t successfully retrieve that object from your dog he could ingest it and become ill or otherwise injured?

Both of these approaches (force or treats) exemplify:

• A lack self-control on the human's part;
• A lack of understanding of the intelligence of a dog and a dog's natural skill to communicate.

In contrast - the method which I have described above to take over the situation is a well adjusted dog's way to handle the situation.

It is a…

• Non-aggressive;
• Non-argumentative, and;
• Instructional for the dog.
• This method gains the respect of your dog;
• It requires calm, deliberate, firm, directive, persistent, determined patience on the humans part. 
• These are the same qualities a well balanced dog has. 
• If you want to gain a dog's respect you must adopt and employ the same qualities and techniques.

If you want to earn your dog's respect there is little to no room for human arrogance, frustration or anger.

You should avoid the creation of bad habits which can develop when the wrong approach is used. For example you can have a treat is long as you give this up - use that method on a child and you end up with a manipulative, bad spoiled, ill-adjusted, and overweight kid - it is the same for a dog). 

This is what I teach my clients. This is why I can take an object away from a dog without an adverse reaction from the dog – including dogs who bite people!

Having noted all of this above, some people will still say - offer your dog something else instead - my answer to that is NO. That is a negotiation - and the dog will learn to use it to manipulate, just as a person would. This type of strategy does not teach your dog that is should not take what he does not have your permission to take. And in the process you do learn how to stop the behaviour. Offering something in exchange is an avoidance and works around the issue - in which case it will never actually resolve the issue – you will in the future, continue to have to deal with the issue.

You don't want to negotiate you want to direct, teach and ensure your dog’s safety. 

Notes:

Please note - this article is for information purposes and is not a substitute for an in-person Session with me. When working with dogs I use many techniques - it is important to note that this article may touch on one or several techniques but not all. I select the technique that I use for a particular dog based on my observations of the dog and an intuitive, instinctive assessment of that dog's and its human's individual requirements. For example when I am working with a dog that is hyper sensitive and very physically reactive I will not use voice or touch. I use a lot of therapeutic touch on some dogs, others require the use of herding techniques and so on. Each and every technique must be combined with:

• an understanding of the real intelligence, sensitivity and capability of dogs;
• an understanding of how to read a dog's face and a dog's overall body language;
• an understanding of the full spectrum of ways that humans communicate and dogs communicate; 
• understanding and recognition of the individual that is each dog - no two dogs are the same...taking a 'cookie cutter' approach to techniques is not the way to work with a dog;
• a complete recognition and understanding of all the elements that feed a behaviour and create an issue:
•  the vast majority of people can only identify one or two elements...which vastly inhibits the ability to resolve behavior issues;
• behaviours do not exist in isolation - there are always many elements that feed a single behaviour, there all always multiple behaviours that create a behavioral issue;
• self-restraint and discipline on the part of the human who is directing the dog;
• sensitivity, awareness, intuition, instinct and timing on the part of the human who is directing the dog;
• to understand, connect with and adapt quickly and effectively to a dog's learning requirements you must be able to employ the same tools a dog uses - acute sensitivity, awareness, instinct, intuition and timing;
• kindness, endurance, consideration, patience, persistence, perspective, the ability and know how to let the past go, the ability to set realistic expectations at any one point in time;
• the creation of structure, rules, boundaries and limitations for each situation at the macro and micro level;
• understanding of all the elements that make up an instruction and direction to a dog...there are multiple steps involved in an instruction - not just one!
• absolute honesty - if you cannot be honest with yourself you will not be able to communicate clearly with a dog.

These are just some of the techniques that I teach my clients - it is a holistic, all-encompassing approach. If you are missing any one element of the above mentioned your success rate will be affected to one degree or another in implementing the techniques offered in the article presented above.

• Training;
• Behaviour Modification;
• Rehabilitation;
• Nutrition;
• Health

Whether you are experiencing dog behavior problems and would like assistance, or just want to bring your dog up to be a well-balanced canine -  I offer both a local and international service for people with one or multiple dogs. 

I work with all breeds - from small (i.e. Yorkie, Pomeranian, Chihuahua, etc.), medium breeds size (including Pit Bulls) and large breed dogs...

 

In-person SessionsDog Training, Puppy Training, Behaviour Modification, Rehabilitation – Ottawa, Ottawa Area, Outaouais, Ottawa Valley

 

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Sessions, Advice via email for National and International Clients - Dog Training, Puppy Training, Behaviour Modification, Nutrition, Health 

Dog Training, Puppy Training, Behaviour Modification, Rehabilitation – Ottawa, Ottawa Area, Outaouais, Ottawa Valley

• Training;
• Behaviour Modification;
• Rehabilitation;
• Nutrition;
• Health;

All Breeds - from small to large including Pit Bulls
FOR PEOPLE WITH ONE OR MULTIPLE DOGS/PUPPIES

Dog and puppy training sessions with the Ottawa Valley Dog Whisperer - in your home, your yard, your neighborhood.  

Imparting Skills for a Lifetime
To be a well-adjusted, happy, healthy canine - dogs require life skills. Life skills are best imparted by one who can see and understand how each piece of knowledge dovetails into the next and can then share the knowledge with true understanding – physical and psychological to another. As intelligent, sensitive beings, dogs do not require domination nor treats to learn they simply require what they give to others: compassion, kindness, understanding, patience, will, persistence and awareness backed-up by calm-considered-confident and clear communication provided with consistency (physical communication, i.e. voice, body language must be truly consistent with emotional state).  Dogs rely on instinct and intuition; they actively and consciously use all of their senses. A dog will do exactly what you really ask them to do - my advantage and ability to observe, asses, address, coach and teach effectively relies on my capability to adopt and deploy the methods that are used by canines to teach and communicate with each other. Too many humans rely on man-made tools and conceits rather than leveraging the beauty and clarity of a dog’s way.

 
"In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog." -- Edward Hoagland

I provide one-on-one training with my clients and their puppies, teenage and adult dogs of all ages…one or multiple dogs. Whether you just want to bring your dog up right from the get go, or you have adopted a rescue dog with a past, or you are experiencing behavioural issues (i.e. anxious, obsessive or aggressive behaviours of all kinds) from low intensity to high intensity (‘over-threshold’, ‘red-zone’).  Perhaps your dog has been placed on doggie Prozac and deemed ‘hyperactive’...I have worked with many dogs labelled and drugged for being hyper – I remove the need for such drugs. Such dogs are hyper-sensitive and require structure, truly good communication and nutrition, not drugs.  Whatever the case I can resolve the behaviour. I have never failed a dog and it’s human. 

Full Boot Camp
I offer an all-encompassing ‘full boot camp’ session (in your home) where I will address everything – from physical to psychological to diet/health. A session is typically 4 hours but may extend up to five hours depending on the issues at hand. If you would like to understand what a full boot camp session at your home includes and my methods just email me (ottawavalleydogwhisperer@gmail.com) and I will send you the information. You can also read this for more information about my methods and what I cover in a full boot camp session.This type of session is invaluable as it addresses every aspect of daily life with your dog and ensures that your dog does not develop behavioural issues.

• Anxiety or over-excitement and/or motion sickness in vehicles; 
• Barking; 
• Begging for Food, Food Surfing (tables, counters, from children, etc.) 
• Bolting out your door; 
• Chasing your cats, and other small animals; 
• Chewing/ biting your hands, feet, clothing etc.; 
• Crate Training; 
• Dog-to-Dog Aggressive-reactive Behaviour; 
• Dog-to-People Aggressive-reactive Behaviour; 
• Fear of People, Places and Things; 
• Food Aggressive-Reactive Behaviour; 
• Grief; 
• Unwanted Guarding Behaviour of people, places and things; 
• Inability to Settle-down (calm) and Relax…’hyper activity’; 
• Inappropriate Behaviour with Guests; 
• Obsessive Behaviour, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD); 
• Marking in the House;
• Poor Leash-walking habits (pulling, weaving, flopping);  
• Separation Anxiety; 
• etc.

Mini Boot Camp
 
1) Obedience Training for Puppies, and;
2) Refresher Session for Adult Dogs

1) Obedience Training for Puppies
I also offer one hour mini-boot-camp sessions (in your home) to address specific topics for puppy training…you can select from the following or make a special request to me:

• Learn and Master Sit-Down-Stay in one hour;
• Nail clipping, grooming and chemical-free all-natural alternatives for maintenance of ears, bathing etc.;
• Potty Training;
• Socialization and Manners with other Puppies/Dogs; 
• Socialization and Manners with other Animals (cats, rabbits, etc)
• Socialization and Manners around Children; 
• Socialization and Manners around Guests; 
• The Walk; 
• Whole Health Nutrition  
• understanding how to select good dog food;
• making your own dog food;
• selecting healthy treats;
•  alternate foods;
• losing and gaining weight;
• immune system health, fur and skin health, dental health, etc.;
• Cancer and disease prevention.

2) Refresher Session for Adult Dogs
This session is perfect for people who are introducing a new element into their dog's life, i.e...

• Adoption of a new dog/puppy into a home with existing dog(s);
• You have a new baby and want to make sure dog and baby's relationship is a good one;
• You have a minor issue that you have been unable to resolve (major issues must be addressed with a Full Boot-Camp Session);
• etc.

You have had a Full-Boot Camp Session and have mastered the resolution of all behaviors but would like some reinforcement to finesse/complete your leadership skills.

Session Cost 
*All-Encompassing Boot-Camp Session (4 to 5 hours) - $400.00
*Mini Boot Camp Session (1 hour)  - $175.00 
*note additional hours are purchasable at a discounted cost of $40.00/half hour and $80.00 hour while I am on-site at your home.
 
Fees above are as per my standard service area (i.e. Ottawa, Hull, Alymer, Barhaven, Arnprior, Bells Corners, Carp, Fitzroy, Orleans, Kanata, Renfrew, Stittsville, Manotick, Vars, etc.) 

If you reside in a further outlying area, depending on the exact location – I may need to add a km/time surcharge.

If you reside in another province or country I also provide a national and international consulting service via email.

I Offer Three Payment Methods for my Clients’ Convenience

1. Cash,
2. E-mail Money Transfer, and;
3. Credit Card via Paypal.

Session Bookings
Sessions can be booked on weekdays and weekends.

Pre-Assessment
I do not pre-assessments. As I work intuitively and can shift my methods and techniques on the fly to suit the individuals, I have no need to pre-assess. 90% of my clients have been to 2 or more trainers (who subsequently failed the dog and/or made the dogs issues worse). I am often the last resort between euthanasia and life – it is a responsibility that I take with the utmost seriousness and have never let a dog and its people down.  There are very few dogs that cannot be rehabilitated. 

 
My Methods
I do not force/dominance-train, nor do I treat-train as neither methods honor the intelligence or way of a dog.  If you would like to know more about my methods you can read more here. I do not use e-collars, prong/pinch collars, choke chains, haltis, etc. I teach my clients how to work without such devices.

I Teach/Train the human…
- To be aware of how their psychological/emotional state affects their dog;
- To understand how they are mis-communicating to their dog;
- To understand their dog; its body language, its reactions, its needs;
- To learn how to effectively communicate with their dog - including using less voice and instead
   more body language;
- To see when their dog is asking for direction;
- To provide leadership to their dog;
I coach and mentor the dog.

Session Follow-up
Post session I send my clients articles that reinforce what we went through in the session. My clients know that if they have a question that they can call or email me.

Working with dogs and their people is not just my ‘job’ – making sure your dog is healthy and happy is my passion…20 years experience living and working with dogs.

You can contact me at…

The Ottawa Valley Dog Whisperer
Karen Rosenfeld
office: 613-622-7958
cell:     613-293-3707
email: ottawavalleydogwhisperer@gmail.com
Visit my Website
Follow and Tweet Me
Like my Facebook Page 

I also offer National & International Consulting Services
For those people that do not live in the Ottawa Area, I do offer e-Consulting Services. I provide guidance (Dog Training, Puppy Training, Behaviour Modification, Nutrition, Health) to people both Nationally and Internationally.

Client Comments/Recommendations...

 

Hi Karen

Thank you once again for the great information and for your help with Floyd. These techniques are much better for us all. The techniques are working and oddly enough Floyd is responding very well with Rachelle. We are going to the cottage this weekend so we will be able to practice these techniques with Stella being around.

Thank you

I'll keep you posted on our development.

Roger

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Hi Karen,

I just wanted to let you know how much we enjoyed meeting you as well as our very informative day.  I am a visual person, so now when I look at your articles I know exactly what is expected of me and my dogs.  My husband too was very impressed.  Now, if and when I can get my two little darlings out of bed (they are completely exhausted with their first day at school) we will begin to work on all you have taught us.  I actually had to laugh at them earlier this morning.  I was packing to go the cottage and took out their leashes to pack them and usually they get so excited, but this time they only rolled over in their beds as if to say "not right now mommy" as they continued to sleep. 

Last night when we ate our supper, I wanted them to lie down away from the table, well they actually decided to lie just outside the kitchen in my hallway.  Tyke just stayed there but Benny actually did ask for permission to come into the kitchen when supper was over.  He's a pretty smart little guy....stubborn but smart.  He also asked permission to come on the couch later in the evening.  I am so-o-o impressed!!!  Tyke however was quite happy to just snooze in his bed.  He didn't even want to play with his treat ball....he was just pooped.  

Thank you again so much for your patience, time and advice.  We certainly appreciate it.

Sheila

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 Good morning Karen,

Toby is a different dog after the session we had with you! Thank you very much for sending this great information after the session....slowly reading through it....you have a good web site!!!

We are having great success with Toby, all thanks to you!!

Manuela

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Hi Karen,

I just wanted to thank you again for everything you've done to help us. You're such a beautiful and dedicated person. I was extremely pleased with the session and although it was a lot of information, I did learn a lot and it certainly built my confidence up. After work this morning, I took Nikita for a walk with the "let's do this" and "not giving a crap about her reaction or the other dog" attitude and it really helped. With my head high and back straight, we marched right by dogs and of course she reacted, but I kept her going and looked far ahead, and didn't let it bother me. It felt great to walk her this way and I look forward to seeing her transition into a more balanced dog. I'll keep you posted on her progress!

Thanks again!

Shawna

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Hi Karen, 

Thank you so much again for the session and for all of the info you sent! I'm starting my 2 weeks of vacation next week and will have more time to do some reading. Jazz is doing great! We ordered pizza Sunday night and when the doorbell rang she just looked at Ben &I, not a peep! We had her in a down stay and both went upstairs and she didn't move!! We are noticing a big difference in her already and are so proud of her. Our session with you was one of the best things we have ever done for her and OURSELVES! You are amazing!  Thanks again and jazz sends a big kiss back :)

Cheers

Jen & Ben

Sent from my iPhone

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My two year old chihuahua Abbey has had severe car anxiety from the day we brought her home at 12 weeks. It was been miserable as we like to travel to see our kids and I also enjoy taking my two chihuahua's where ever I can. I tried everything, the spray, the tape, the jacket, strong tranquilizers and those did not even work! She always wanted to go but once in the car she would cry and whine non stop,,while her sister would just enjoy the ride and love the warm sun. I was miserable, Abbey was miserable and giving her drugs was not my idea of a solution as it is dangerous to give such a small dog these drugs. well I followed Karen's advice, I did everything she said, it did not happen overnight but all of a sudden I realized my car was quiet and I looked back amd she was snuggled up with her sister enjoying her outing. We were at our wits end as this was going on for two years and to pay a sitter to come to the house is 100.00 a day so it made it very expensive when we could of taken her and we all would of been so much happier. I have referred Karen to many of my dog friends and they are all amazed at her gift of understanding the relationship between the owner and the dog. I knew it was something I was doing but just did not know how to fix it. When ever an issue comes up as dogs are like kids always learning or I am still learning this is where I find the answers. thank you Karen from Abbey and Maggie and especially mommy! We think you are the best dog trainer out there :)

Nancy Lucky

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Karen,

I have to thank you so much for you time! You are so great! And so fast! It shows that you are truly dedicated to the betterment of the dog It is such a warm feeling to know that there are people who think as you do in their approach to dog training. I have learned so much from your expertise! It just reiterates what I believe in. Dog training is my heart and soul and it's all about the dog! Please feel free to visit my web site. I would love to stay in contact with you.... maybe you could mentor me! Again thank you so much for you efforts. They are priceless!!!!!

Jeremy Majors

            Majors Academy Dog Training